Is It Ok Not Too Be Okay…….

Everyday that goes by we are told to smile, keep plodding on and take things on the chin. In life many things happen to people daily, people you work with, friends and family which they keep hidden as in the UK we have a stiff upper lip and to show any sign of weakness or emotional turmoil is not favourable, as people suddenly see you as weak. English people brought up in the english culture learn the art of repression, turning that frown upside down, but when does this become detrimental to you? When does years of repression of anger, annoyance, sadness and whatever ill feelings you have suddenly become more harm to you than good.

In life I have been brought up not to cry over split milk, not to get in a flap when there’s nothing in essence to flap about. I also am the person that will cry in the toilets at work than in front of my boss as on some level I equate emotional outbursts with weakness. I think when you have an emotional outburst people start treating you like your not capable of your job and your forever remembered as the girl who cried on the boss, but why should this be? Have the americans got it right, should we be more free-flowing with our feelings, be more open about grievances we have?

One-day take a look around you at work and wonder, who is going through marital issues? Who has broken up with their boyfriend? Who has had someone close to them die? Who is having money troubles? Who is lonely? Who is depressed? Who is ill? What are the people in your office going through that you know next to nothing about because of th stigma of appearing unhinged.

I think people should be able to be more open but the problem in the workforce is that many people don’t really care about the person sitting next to them and the problems they may have or the fact they may need a little help with their work because life at home is distracting them. But people forget others may be in trouble because the demands of the grind, because the need to get that promotion, get even more money makes people forget that people have feelings.

Many times in my life I have been at work and I have been on the edge, been to the point where I cannot concentrate because I am upset, or been out with friends and would rather be at home filling my face with ice cream than be out pretending to be happy. When you break up with a bf people say get under someone to get over someone, they tell you to go out and have fun, get back out there, there’s plenty more fish in the sea. But what if all you do is want to cry, to sit at home and cry until there’s no tears left. I think crying is healthy, some people say cry for a moment then shape up and move on. But I say cry for as long as you want, be sad for as long as you want. When you lose someone who you thought you were gonna spend the rest of your life with I reckon you get the right to act emotionally unhinged. I reckon when someone dies, when someone you love dumps you, when you feel like your life is going nowhere, when you feel you’re a failure, I reckon you can cry and stamp your feet as much as you want. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s okay not to be okay as Jessie J would say, It’s okay not to be sunshine and flowers all the time because life isn’t all sunshine and flowers as sometimes it can hand you a great big lump of manure.

“Tears don’t mean you’re losing, everybody’s bruising” (Jessie J lyrics)

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The Kate Middleton Effect…….Is The World Mad

I have been seeing mass articles in the last few days of how Kate Middleton is a style icon. Has the world lost it mind, have the media really nothing else to write about or have they lost their minds too or is it really a mad and batty journalist making these bold style icon statements. If Kate Middleton is a style icon I better start burning everything I own, to me she dresses to please the royal state not of her own free will. She dresses like her mum, she even borrows her mums clothes which would be okay if they were actually remotely nice garments or a tiny bit exciting. Kate Middleton doesn’t have style, her style is dictated by the people who advise her! She dresses the way people want her to dress, I bet deep down she would love to slip on a thigh skimming dress to show off her figure, but I think if she did the Queen might fall off her throne. Before Kate intertwined throughly with the royals her clothes were slightly more on the exciting side but since her integration into the royal fold everything is more subdued and more contrived.

Kate Middleton has been lost, does she have a personality, or is her personality what is expected of her? Does she want a career or is she just arm candy for the prince? To me Kate Middleton may have access to everything but in reality she is bound by rules and stipulations. She will never get to fully be her own person in public, only behind closed doors. She may never go out and accidentally get drunk and go to a kebab shop for chips and cheese. She is living an isolated life, one where all her actions are watched, analyzed and criticized.

Style icons to me our people who push the boundaries, Kate Middleton is busy trying not to reveal too much skin and trying not to look too garish to offend anyone that her style is nothing but dismal, that is not an iconic style icon to me. Every time I look at waity Katy I see a girl in her prime dressing like she’s wearing someone’s curtains, she may wear nice clothes here and there, some high street frocks but it’s nothing to shout ‘style icon’ about, I think everyone’s gone a bit mad.

Style icons don’t shake in your boots, your safe for now.