Should You Be Allowed Kids?

The parents of the kids who died in the house blaze which they are now arrested for, how is it that they can have kids and then there are people out in the world who try to no avail, how is it fair? I have come to think that in the world maybe some people should just not be allowed to have children. Maybe there should be an exam to pass, a test to sit before your allowed to procreate. Do you ever sit back and think ‘Am I a good candidate to have kids?’ whether you’re up to the ever demanding life of motherhood. There’s no degree in mastering child rearing and bearing, having children is free, there are no stipulations but does that mean everyone should be allowed to have children here there and everywhere?

“Are some people just too selfish or too uneducated to be allowed to parent?”

Having kid’s is life changing, it’s demanding, it’s revolving your life around someone else not yourself. When having kids you become second best for the rest of your life and your needs are put aside as some little person now comes first. Is everyone capable of being so selfless? Or are some people just too selfish or too uneducated to be allowed to parent? You may think I am being harsh but I bet at some point you have thought exactly the same.

Some people have children without thought, they pop them out like they change their underwear. If you were earning a low wage why would you have 6 kids, why would you put yourself under the strain to constantly struggle and make the benefit system and the tax payers pay for your lack of birth control or your pure stupidity! People who pop kids out and continue to say it was an accident are more stupid than anything because birth control is so simple to use and not using it just shows a lack of brain cells and thought. Maybe some people are just thoughtless but should thoughtless people really be allowed kids?

People should be vetted and their should be criteria to fill so not any tom dick or harry can just have kids. I say this because so many kids are brought into the world by parents who are frankly incapable of being a good parent. The amount in the press where parents are shooting their kids, killing their children by setting fires, kidnapping their own kids for money or skipping the country to leave their kids to the system to look after makes me sick and makes me think these people should have their tubes tied.

Child abuse is rife and too many times people who have abused their children and get them taken away go on to have more, how is this allowed? I reckon once you abuse a child that it’s and you should be disqualified from child-bearing. Abusing a child who looks after you to look after them is diabolical, it shows that you’re the type of person that deserve’s nothing, especially not a childs unconditional love.

Now the point of my rant is; just be prepared for kids and don’t just have them because you want something to play with. My point is that people are too freely having children without real thought about what will happen when they arrive. Too many people who treat their kids untoward continue to have more kids, is that really okay? should people who hurt kids, treat them badly or neglect them, should they not be stopped from having kids? In my mind yes they should, whether you agree or not is your opinion.

Children are for life not just for christmas.


Invisible Pain

Lately I have been thinking about how people are treated when they are unwell, how people in society are treated when they show no signs of illness as they have an invisible problem.

Since about 6 months ago my body have slowly been turning on me, at first I thought I was just over worked, at the time I was working in London and I started to get fatigued more than usual. As a person who was working allot and sometimes burning the candle at both ends I put this down to my lifestyle, but slowly other symptoms started to appear, shortness of breath when I’d make short journeys, (I’d climb the stairs and I would be out of breath, but not in the way most people do, it literally took my breath away to get to the top) achy legs, shooting pains, throbbing in my knees, sore muscles and chronic back pain. After a month I decided maybe I should go to the doctors as I had to start taking time off work. I took almost 2 weeks off because the stiffness and the throbbing I was experiencing was just too much for me. Now the first sign of the way people treat people with an invisible problem is the scepticism I got at work, I could tell by the way people asked me if I was okay that they didn’t quite believe me, I got this feeling that people just didn’t really understand, I tried to explain it to my boss but I think on some level he was not convinced.

Some days I am fine and fit and walking the stairs would be easy as pie, some days the pain would not be so bad and I think because of this, because the pain never stays constantly in one place it’s hard for people to get to grips with and in the end they think your just complaining or lying.

“The pain never stays constantly in one place”

I feel pain and I try to convince myself it’s not there, being on my feet  all day waitressing for 10 hours a day cripples me sometimes. I get sore fingers from carrying heavy plates, my hands cramp up as I carry plates to customers and I wonder if I’ll drop them. I’ll be polishing cutlery and the repetitive action will crate on my hands and cause it to ache, I mop the floor and the next day my muscles will be sore. I carry trays to customers room and my arms feel like they are going to give way, I take walks and sometimes my legs feel like jello, like they won’t quite make it. My back is in constant ache mode and I’ll tell people I ache and I get the reply ‘me too’ and I know they probably do but I wanna shout ‘not like me,’ I feel slightly misunderstood most the time as no one can see the pain so no one really understands.

My doctor is a prime example of someone who really should have got the bigger picture but ended up making me feel worse than better. I got referred to a specialist; a bone man, someone who could give light to why I feel the way I do and because my symptoms where so varied and I’ll be honest I wasn’t the best at describing my pain I think he thought I was making it up. The best he could do for me was diagnose me with hypermobility syndrome as that was the nearest criteria he thought I fit, he then proceeded to tell me he couldn’t help me from here, and I was on my own and told me to ‘deal with it.’ He then printed of an article from Wikipedia which he had done on my last appointment and told me to read it. There was no advice in pain management, there was no referral maybe to see someone who could help with my pain. My blood tests came back fine apart from a small ra marker, but when I asked him if it came back negative he said yes, but in fact even though it was more negative than positive he was lying as it came back a bit positive. He even was smiling at me in the way you get the feeling you think someone thinks you’re talking shit, like your pain is his amusement.

Now if I do have hypermobility I would have liked some after care, advice on how to deal with my pain in the long-term, how to get to grips with it, not just sent off to deal with it! Now if the doctor cannot even show some form of belief in my pain then how I am supposed to expect other people too.

I have now joined a new gp and I am getting a second opinion as ‘dealing with it’ is not the advice I pay my taxes to get.

I wanted this article to be more of an awareness that there are people like me who have this pain that they experience every day that people don’t understand and because people treat us like complainers, like liars we start to feel somewhat isolated and misunderstood. I just want people to get the bigger picture, that to be ill you don’t need to have scars and wounds to prove it, that you can be ill but on the outside you look perfect when in fact perfection if far from what you are.