Something’s Got To Give…

Being a housewife and a mother is the biggest job in the world, but if it doesn’t interest you, don’t do it – I would have made a terrible mother. – Katharine Hepburn

Can you have it all? That’s the question I put forward today. Can women in society have a job, a career and a family? In society women have very much moved away from the housewife role, we have taken to the board rooms, marched into the job center’s and laid claim to jobs that men would have previously been given. Now that women are beginning to lay claim to jobs previously scarce to them what becomes of the housewife? Can we as women really as they saying goes:

“Have our cake and eat it”

Is having a successful career really achievable when you want to start a family. Does something have to give for you to have a successful family unit? Having a family is no small decision and it requires all your time and energy. Starting a family and managing it is a life long commitment, children are hard work and they take up every aspect of your life and demand constant attention until they reach the age where they can spread their wings which nowadays is getting later and later. Many people’s children don’t leave home still their 21 due to the way the economic climate is, so having a family is a big deal and to embark on this journey as a woman your faced with the idea; should you give up your career aspirations to be a stay at home mum? It’s a question that is still relevant today as it was 60 years ago. It’s a question that even today women struggle with and no matter how far we have come in ways of thinking and our attitudes women still do give up good career’s to be stay at home mums. We may think that this is a small majority of people but in my experience if people have the money the women will generally give up  theirs career’s to look after the kids.

So if everyone had the option and the money, would you give up work to be at home with your kids? Would you don an apron and get the dusters out and make your job one that is very much within the home? Be honest, would you?

In today’s society men and women try to have it all! The job, the career, the social life and the family but in reality how easy is this to maintain when there are only so few hours in the day and so few days in the week when you have a multitude of things to cram in. Working life sucks up so much of our time that some days I barely have time to make it home and eat dinner before I have to be back in bed to get up to start the day again, add socializing with my friends, spending time with the boyfriend and keeping my house in a bearable state where I don’t cry every time I open the door I rarely have a moment’s peace. To think one-day I will add kids to the mix of my day it makes me shrink in fear, how will I cope and how the hell did my mother manage four of us! The idea that my only spare moments one-day will be taken up by kids who will demand and want and cry and moan and make a mess makes me wonder how I will cope with a job and maintain screaming brats all at the same time. Is having kids a career choice in itself? By having children are we in hindsight choosing a career of mother hood where dirty nappies and the needs of others will be our number one priority! Is motherhood a career that just  has no pay cheque?

To have it all would be the dream but is it reality? In reality something has to give when you have kids, many things have to give and to be the best parent you can be is being a housewife really not such an old-fashioned idea but one that has been over looked and pushed aside by feminists and equal rights. In reality is being an  au-pair basically being a housewife. Maybe nanny’s and au-pair’s should change their job titles to housewife, as in reality when you hire one of these you are hiring them to do your job.

Now I am not stone age and I am fully aware men can give up their jobs too and I fully advocate this if the man is capable of managing a household, though in my eyes it has to be seen as currently my partner cannot navigate his way to the washing machine let alone look after a child. I fear if my partner was left with children he would fumble around cluelessly as in 4 years together he hasn’t once put a wash on without menacing verbal instruction, hasn’t once changed the bed sheets as in his eyes the magic fairy must do it. He hasn’t vacuumed without direction or even washed up without being verbally abused too, so to leave a child in his hands would only be abuse. So until I can see men organizing a house as well as we women seem to be programmed to do I am still very much on the front of, housewife not house husband.

So to answer the question that so many so tirelessly try to achieve, can we have it all? I answer you this….No! I am not saying you will forever live a half fulfilled life but be realistic and know what type of life will make you happy because having it all is an unrealistic reality people strive to get that only lets them down when they cannot reach it. Even the rich and famous cannot have it all so sit back and decide, what type life do you want? Is that a family or is it a life endlessly about you? Choose what reality you want and then just live it.


2008 – ? A Ongoing Recession


Now the recession has been with us since 2008 and the government can say that there’s light at the end of the tunnel but how long is that tunnel and how long do we have to wait for things to get better. Life in all quarters has been effected by the economic climate, more so than others. But no matter where you head or where you are you can tell people aren’t coping as well as the did before this whole recession malarkey sent our lives into chaos.

People say that there’s a whole generation of a lost youth, a whole few generations I would say where they will never experience or be able to choose a job because they like it and get something rewarding from it. Nowadays a jobs a job and what a sad notion that is. What a crime to people’s intelligence that when they have a masters or a phd that there taking dead-end jobs that will not challenge them remotely just because it’s a job and they need to survive. People work dead ends jobs nowadays just to pay the bills, they have no light at the end of the tunnel and that light to some may just seem to far and like the girl in the paper who took her own life because she couldn’t find a job they may see that too as the only way out. Now you may think to yourself what a drastic idea to take your own life because too many people rejected you for a job, but you try being jobless for two years or working in jobs that take away your self-esteem and self-worth, ones where you lose more brain cells than gather and see how it affects you mentally and emotionally.

Finding work nowadays is no easy feat like it use to be. I remember when I graduated uni and there was an abundance of jobs that I could apply for and I had the choice, I could pick and choose almost. I could really take my time to decide what type of job I wanted as there was opportunities. Now though the pickings are slim and in many ways you have to be happy with what you’ve got and apply for those jobs that you would not of applied for before. Wages are getting tighter and people expect you to do everything for a smaller fee. People want workers for free. The world of the job market is more harsh and more brash than ever, people will undercut you just so they can earn money to pay their bills, it’s survival of the fittest and people are getting lost at the wayside.

Whole sections of graduates are returning home to live as they cannot find a job, they are left with a degree but no job to put their hard work into practice. Young adults of 24,25,26 are returning home to live as increasing rent prices especially in London are forcing people to reconsider a life outside of the parental boundaries. Rising rent prices would be okay if salaries took a rise too, but the cost of living is escalating and the wage salaries are at a stale mate. People who would normally be buying homes for the first time are still renting because they cannot save for a deposit and how can you when life is costing a small fortune. People are downsizing their aspirations on family life, 1 kid instead of 3 because the cost of a family is rising and the idea of having big families is becoming a fantastical ideal.

People are getting lost and I don’t mean they took a wrong turning to the grocery store, I mean people are becoming lost within their selves because there are no opportunities. People are losing their drive for life, when there are no jobs that will benefit you what becomes the point in getting a job at all and that’s why people get suck on the dole because they lose their drive for life and having no job than one that destroys your self-worth and confidence seems a better idea than the other.

The idea that there’s no end to this recession makes people lose hope and leaving a person without hope leaves a person with nothing to lose…………. is that a good thing?


Cork and It’s Nation Of Tracksuit Loving Youth’s

Now folks I have some exciting news, I have moved out of the dear city of London to live in Cork so my partner can go back to college. Now since moving I have noticed some differences between the two fair cities and I feel its my duty to enlighten you on my take of the differences of life in London to life in Cork.

Now life in London is one that is fast paced, people learn to run not walk. Walking is a myth in london, you either run or you jog, you pick one or the other or you get stampeded within the streets of the big smoke. Now in Cork city people tend to jaunt along at a gentle space, there’s no pavement dodging or weaving, people generally don’t seem to be in a hurry to get anywhere. Many times in London have I sweated to a near collapse just to get somewhere on time, yet in Cork the urgency to arrive on time is not as urgent and to be running late is almost expected. In London if you’re late for work you get sneered at and leaving work at 5.30pm is almost a crime, how dare you leave work on time. By leaving work at 5.30pm your almost asking for extra work to be assigned to you, people look at you like your lazy, like your swanning off into the sunset to drink sangria. Now here in Cork it seems that work is vital to everyone’s existence, obviously, but the motto seems to be we work to live not live to work which I fully embrace with open arms. In London though work plays such a vital role within how people view you, when you meet someone one of the first questions fired at you upon starting a conversation is, ‘so what do you do?’ like the trade that you earn your bread and butter from defines you and clarifies whether you worthy of talking to. London can be a bitch, people will use you to use your connections & people will judge you by what trade you do and how you look. I am not saying everyone is horrible in the big smoke but I have on many occasions met people who think to much of themselves that they can barely walk through doors their heads are so inflated. Cork has a much more relaxed vibe to it and everyone seems to be on a level playing field, not once have  I been asked what my job is, people just take you as you come.

Another thing that is a huge difference is fashion, by christ Cork got left behind on that front. Tracksuits are a hit, Adidas is riddling the streets. I assume there is a sale on or I hope there is as not that many people could willingly fork out for an entire tracksuit to mull about in, in the public domain (sports gear just to clarify is expensive here). Every youth, even the adults seem to reveal in the tracksuit culture, did fashion week miss something or is Cork just not in on the loop that tracksuits are house bound items. By allowing people to roam the streets fully decked out in tracksuit two-pieces Cork is allowing crimes of nature. Now in London fashion is key, its people’s identities. How you dress is how you want to be perceived. Cork’s youth and many adults seem to just wear sports gear, the same or similar, there seems to be no self-expression within the way they dress, maybe Cork are still repressed, maybe they just need time for their fashion identities to spurt, they have only been an independent country for 90 years or so, we can give them time. London is a fashion capital and that’s what I love about london is that you can experiment with the way you dress. London is a city where you do what you want, who gives a shit what someone thinks of they way you dress. You walk down the street in London and you just know someone will look more fucked up than you so what does it matter, you just go wild. You start to experiment with things you wouldn’t before because you know someone will always look more mental than you.

Another thing (RIP) as Colombo would say is the transport in  Cork is a failure in comparison to London’s transport. Now I am not saying Corks transport is a bad thing because there buses are clean enough and dirt cheap, but the city has no train service, it runs purely by buses and taxi’s. Now buses in Ireland are an experience to have, one of exasperation and one of pure confusion. In Ireland bus stop’s rarely have seats attached to them for you to seat down on, apparently the reasoning behind this is because kids like to set fire to them or rip them apart (and I thought London kids had issues). Now this really isn’t a problem until you realize buses in Cork aren’t the most regular of things, they tend to come every hour or so, so that missing chair becomes a sad loss as you then have to stand shivering your arse off in the cold when you could have been seated shivering it off. Bus stops in Ireland also have no timetables so it’s like pot luck waiting for a bus, it’s like the blind leading the blind. I tend to catch a bus by just finding a stop and looming until something comes along, this wait may last 5 minutes to an hour by which time I get bored and I start walking home. In London buses come every 4 – 12 minutes, they’re regular like clock work, they may get blown up or may hit a few pedestrians occasionally but least they are bloody regular and least in the UK we have bus stops with seats and timetables. We even have machines at bus stops you can buy your tickets from, oh the luxury of a modernised society. London folk complain when the train is 1 minute late, we tut if it’s more than a 3 minute wait, we wail blue murder if it’s a 7 minute wait and we curse Boris if there’s a breakdown, but in reality London transport is far superior than that of Cork, we’re never be China but then they have everything in the bag.

Another difference is the town, Cork is hugely independently run, there are not many huge chains that over take and get replicated at every turn. There are a few chain stores but not on the scale of London. I remember when I was living off Oxford street and a new shopping centre was opened at St Paul’s and the buzz of it filtered down my way so I got excited and I did a hop, skip and a jump to check out the new shopping extravaganza only to come to see that all the shops at the new big fancy mall were all the ones down Oxford Street. St Paul’s was a replica mall of what you could find in the West End. Westfields, Eastfields, St Paul’s and Oxford street are a mass of london shopping centres full of the same shops selling you the same overpriced stuff. Now Cork is more quirky, shops are named after their owners, O’Mallay, O’Fegans, they are family run a lot of business’s and these independently run shops give cork an exciting feel as you know that everywhere will be different. I like the fact that you’re getting something different down the street and round the corner instead of getting the same tripe here there and everywhere.

To me in the end the differences are there but that what makes each country so unique and even though we may be different in the end our goals are the same. We all want to live a good life, have good friends and have fun.

Here are my top twelve observations of Cork City.

1: Cork is small, the seven degrees of separation is rife! Someone always knows someone you know.

2: They say bold allot! When you do something naughty you’re being bold!

3: Thanks a million is their catchphrase along with no bother.

4: People wave and say hi to each other like they know each other even when they don’t.

5: 50 euro is not allot! sad face!

6: Live music is like a virus in the city, a good virus mind you!

7: It’s seems everyone in Cork can sing, it’s a nation of crooner’s, crooning well!

8: Taxi’s are a rip of and the cost of drinking could be classed as robbery!

9: unemployment is high, anyone employed is classed as lucky even if they are shovelling shit for a living.

10: People love wearing tracksuits like it’s a fashion statement when it’s clearly not.

11. Every women seems to be pushing a pram, people love kids here, contraception must be a new concept or they just love kids.

12: There are a lot of ginger people here freaking me out!

So there you go, my take so far on Cork, a fine little city.