I mentioned in a previous blog that for the last 2 yrs I have been without a tv…. shock horror. I have managed to survive much to others utter disbelief. What do I do? I can hear their minds wonder!!! When they gasp and say, ‘but what do you do in the evenings?’ I simply smile a smug look of superiority and bathe in my intellectual air and say, ‘I read, mainly.’
I am not normally smug or superior, but I do feel kinda cool simply stating that I am a human and yes that is right I don’t solely really on my entertainment needs through tv. I like to think people look at me with an air of mystery! I am sure they are thinking that I sit in my flat reading Shakespeare and contemplating Keats, maybe they imagine me sitting reading Stephen Hawkins, contemplating the meaning of life.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmp………… Not quite
There is no need to tell them that I’m actually in my flat watching back to back episodes of Glee and the most Highbrow book I own is the dusty one in my attic, that my teacher made me read for my GCSEs. I shan’t confess what I am really doing is the surfing the net, updating my Asos wish list and buffering the next episode of Top Model, that would make me sound far to normal.
I have been staying at my friend’s house recently, I am off travelling for a while so at the moment friends are kindly letting me sofa surf. I have been introduced to the world of Sky tv, channels and channels of crap… oh geez Louise it’s great!!! Come Dine with Me, Wanted Down Under, The X Factor! It so mind-boggling to choose what to watch, then my friend told me about the planner thing, you can record, pause, fast forward, it’s a miracle! Apart from The X Factor, don’t judge me, just look at me smugly and say, I don’t watch that! and I shall imagine you engaging in intelligent economical conversation over a 3 course meal with your bookish friends. I like to also watch Take Me Out. Top class Saturday night tv I hear you say.
Well unlike Deal or No Deal which makes me wish Mr Blobby sat on Noel Edmonds when he had the chance. Take Me Out doesn’t purely make me want to switch off, I am in trouble, I love and I hate it, all at once, just like Marmite (I hate Marmite you see but I love twiglets, I didn’t say my life was easy!). Take Me Out is a bit like Cheesecake, I really Love it, but what it is made of – arghhhhhhhhhhhh! visions of hours on the treadmill and that fat dude on the biggest loser, sweating, it makes me think reasonably, ‘no Stephanie you don’t need to eat the whole thing, one slice is enough.’ Smile at oneself smugly for not being a massive fat pig! then your inner child stamps it’s feet and demands to eat the whole thing. My inner child mainly always wins, so there I am on Saturday nights, my cheesecake on my lap and Take Me Out on the TV.
Now my main problem with Take Me Out is the women, sorry women…… I just cannot work out who wants to go on tv every week, letting the world know they are single and putting the fate of love in the hands of Paddy Mcguinness and a date in Fernando’s, although they go on holiday now, slight upgrade I must admit.
Where are the dignified days of Blind date (mourn). America has the ‘Bachelor’ (although i have my own issues with that but that’s for another day), compared to our shoddy version with that twat from Made in Chelsea and Dating in The Dark. Cilla Black, times have changed 😦
So here peeps, my problems with Take Me Out-
– The women come across a tad desperate, especially the ones who have been there for weeks and leave their light on no matter what, he could have confessed to eating his toenails and she is not bothered, she just wants to get to Fernandos! he could be a pointy toed, cross-eyed pervert but she’s fed up of being there!!
– Some of the age gaps on the dates are ridiculous, love has no boundaries I know, but there are Laws!
– The VT section makes any normal person look like an utter Twat
– Some of the excuses for turning off the lights are just stupid!! Can’t someone just be honest and instead of saying, oh that shirt you’re wearing is the wrong shade of pink, just say……….. Paddy I turned of my light because I JUST DON’T FANCY HIM.
– I do hate it when people turn off their lights after they found out about the person’s job. Come on girls, don’t make us seem shallow and superficial, unless he admits to eating little children and knocking over old grannies best to wait to turn off your light a little later.
– I also really hate it when the bloke is made to do a talent, we might as well be all shouting, ‘Dance Monkey Dance!!’
– Most of all I hate the cheesy chat up lines. On this show no one is safe, run for cover people, the women have cheesy lines all prepared and the bloke has them all up his sleeve too. Throwing them out there like a man throwing sweets at a fat persons convention, and they are being all gobbled up!! Surely one of them will throw up, I know i just did, all over my TV! and poor Paddy didn’t deserve that!!
So there phew rant over!!!!!! But despite these many reasons, I still watch it, I love it on some level, it’s like when I find receipts for a kebab after a night out, I am ashamed but at the shame time I can’t help myself!!!