Romance, Is It Fact or Fiction

 

Recently it has become very obvious to me that men and women are from an entirely different planet, different creatures altogether. As the saying goes, women are from Venus and men are from Mars.

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and I think only just this year I have come to terms with the fact, maybe romance is more fact than fiction! queue grieving of lost romantic notion and ideals, time to bury the Dirty Dancing dvds so they can’t make you go all misty eyed, in vain hope that your boyfriend will shimmy over and demand that no one puts you in the corner!

My problem with men, and I am sure it is just not my man, hopefully! It is the inability to comprehend being romantic,  my bf is not quite the hairy caveman type banging his club and itching his crotch, I just think he has some vital piece of romantic DNA missing.

So what is romance? I hear the cry of men. My boyfriend searches his foggy brain for the answer every time I pout and tell him he has not been particularly loving today, or when I watch a particularly slushy, romantic film (starring Jennifer Aniston or Katherine Heigl, Hollywood has a lot to answer for) and demand to be declared love to on the Empire state building or for once for him to choose me over Manchester United!

So lets start with, ‘What is Romance?’

I am sure everyone is different on this question, depending on your level of tolerability for pda’s and someone being in your personal bubble, or the layer of ice around your heart! For me romance isn’t diamond rings and expensive dinners, it is more weekends away full of scenic walks, picnics and hugging on a rug next to an open fire! oops! too many romantic films there ha! but honestly for me romance is making the time for one another, especially in long-term relationships, making time for the other person, without it revolving around what is convenient for you. Maybe a little surprise now and then like a camping trip away, just you two, or a picnic in the park on a sunny day.

For me the most romantic thing is when my boyfriend actually remembers (real back in shock) something I said weeks ago and surprises me with that said thing or date, maybe he remembers my favourite desert and buys it for me when I am having a down day, it is just nice to know they listened and you’re not just white noise between Top Gear and Match of the Day.

Mostly I like it when he holds my hand on the sofa or strokes my hair, I like it when he randomly texts me to tell me he loves me or hugs me for no reason but just because he wants to, I like it when he kisses me on the nose and puts his arm around my shoulder when we are walking. I love kissing, maybe  a little massage but rarely are we women indulged unless there is a ulterior motive for the man. As as the longer your relationship goes on the less romantic people become, so this is a message to all men and boyfriends out there, remember we women are romantic creatures like sunflowers in the sun, remember to pay us some attention now and then, some selfless romantic gesture wouldn’t go amiss, and we’ll repay you, no questions asked.

Maybe one day men will realize romance is not soppy poems and cheesy lines from films, it’s not standing in the rain declaring your undying or overly gigantic gestures with presents and gifts (although nice sometimes pls)  it is just remembering the small things in life are the things that make us women happy, and when you remember our birthday! that is nice too!

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Abortion and Free Will

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“No woman can call herself free who does not control her own body.”
Margaret Sanger

Abortion has been a big issue circling the irish media waves, in Ireland abortion is illegal which is something I never even considered when I moved here, not that I am planning to get pregnant then have an abortion but it does make you think and it makes you question, can you really live in a country where your basic human right of free will is taken away from you? Can you really trust a country where religion is still heavily leaned on to look after your best interests when they get caught up in that of an unborn child that they believe has the right to live over you? In my eyes religion has a lot to answer for, but that’s another blog another day, but then again can we really discuss abortion without religion factoring heavily? In life we all think we have free will to do as we please but in reality our lives our surrounded with rules, stipulations & boundaries where if we step out of turn we can land ourselves in trouble. In reality can anyone ever really live by their own rules?

Abortion is a sad fact that has become part of reality and its something that I’m for and against. Many people choose a side, get their pickets and lambast each other with them trying to get the other to come over to their side and vice versa. I’m the person who sits in the middle of an argument on the fence where after a while I start to hurt, the fence isn’t so comfortable, but I’ll stay on that fence still the sun comes home because I know things just are not that black and white, life isn’t sunshine and flowers and sometimes we end up doing the one thing we said we’d never do. Abortion is in reality a taking of a life, there’s no sugar-coating it and making it taste sweat but sometimes a life is better off not in this world, a haunting fact. People may say that taking a life is a sin but is it not a sin bringing a child into the world when as a person you cannot give a child the attention and love it needs. I am pro-choice, I believe it’s a person’s choice whose in that situation to decide the course of action they want to take. Abortion will never be an easy pill to swallow and until that question factors in your life, I truly believe you will never know what you will do, you may say you do but when faced with the choice, you may even surprise yourself.

I do think that abortion is now used to often to get people out of a sticky situation when maybe using contraception in the first place would have been wise. Maybe its the sex education we must battle first to conquer people falling pregnant when they don’t want a child. Maybe the problem starts with the way sex education is taught.

Having an abortion isn’t easy for anyone but isn’t that better than having a child that you then neglect or that you then put into the childcare system or up for adoption where the child may get shoved from home to home for years. Children need stability.

In the end abortion is a grey murky area and anyone who dares to judge should walk a mile in their shoes before doing so.

Shopping use to be fun . . . .

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Once upon a time . . . . . . .  shopping use to be fun . . . . . . .  until now!

I have always been somewhat slim. My family carry the skinny gene and I haven’t in hind sight ever had to worry really about my weight. As a youthful teen and early 20 something I would carelessly eat what I wanted without a thought to the waist line and what havoc it could cause if I hadn’t been so kindly blessed with good genes. I was always one of those annoying people who you want to knee jerk when they say, ‘ah, I never exercise I eat what I want,’ and I did, I still do to some extend. But nowadays my downfall is I have an awful addiction to fast food, fried chicken to be exact. Last night I consumed so much pizza it felt like it was trying to climb back up out of my throat this morning to say hello, to show me just how much my body hates me for subjecting it to a torrid of fast food abuse. So fast food is my downfall, I do try my best to eat the fruit of the earth and act as if my body is my temple, but sometimes this temple gets tempted and unlike the snake in the garden of Eden it’s not the apple that tempts me, it’s that hash brown that McDonald’s so loving makes that gets me excited and willing to forget all good intentions. Only if I had self-control, only if I could control my urges, but I am weak and I am easy, not easy like that, but I am easily tempted, damn temptations and pepperoni slices! Anyway, due to my skinner demeanor in life shopping for clothes was always pretty easy, but something has happened over the last few years and shopping is no longer the fun expedition it once was, gasp of horror, shopping not fun! Yes the fun has somewhat been drained out of this girly adventure that fulfills my materialistic urges. I no longer flounce around shops whimsically trying on everything that takes my fancy. Now I try things on with the fear and trepidation that I will have to, gasp, go a size up because I get the dress stuck on my body and I end up popping the zip to just get it off, then running out of the shop before someone can see that I am just not accepting the fact I am no longer a wee whippet. But what gets me the most nowadays is, I am not much bigger than I once was (or I am and I am just in the seven stages of grief and I am stuck in denial) but clothes shopping is ten times harder than it use to be.

Shopping for clothes seems to be something now that takes effort and allot  more time than I want to spend. Brands seem to tailor their clothes for that of children who have no womanly curves to vouch for. Topshop is a killer, I rarely go in there nowadays for fear of coming out suicidal. It seems shops cater to the whippets more than the average joe’s shape, why is this? What also annoys me is that it seems we all use to be one universal size, but now it depends on the brand on what size you may need, how so very tiresome. The idea that I have to remember my size in different shops sends my shopping euphoria into despair as I have to now try on three sizes in the changing room, where I then due to the sheer exertion they are asking of me I melt into a frenzied sweat. What’s fun about trying on the same outfit three times just to get the right size, nothing I tell you, It just sends you mad and a bit moronic.

Prime example of a shopping nightmare is when I went into Brown Thomas and I inquired about a heavily discounted dress and what size I should get and the women then told me it depended on the make and where it was from and that it just differs from make to make, as she wabbled on I just felt the life in me get sucked out, such an arduous task, when did shopping become a task?  I wish for the days I was joyous about shopping, when I’d pick something from the hangar and take it home without having to return it.

In the end I just find shopping boring most the time nowadays, it’s no longer as fun as it should be. I no longer get that thrill of the hunt, instead exasperation at the shear task in front of me, endless changes in the same outfit to find one that will fit nicely instead of hang in all directions that make me look undesirable. I wish I was 18 again and everything  just fit, but alas, I must get use to this getting older and everything just getting more unsuitable. It seems by the time I am 30 I may have to don binliners because the effort may just kill me.

So next time I go shopping I ask one thing from all the brands I so lovingly buy! Stick to one size code, you’re wrecking my head.

Cairns- Final East Coast Stop

So guys its our my last Greyhound bus journey with my little Heather 😦 Although sitting ten hours on a coach is not a highlight! My next journey will be like 6 hours to Perth on A plane, (but at least my lovely bf will greet me the other end!) The sheer size of Australia constantly amazes me! Just so u can not panic on my behalf and my mum can rest easily, I retrieved my wallet, I was so happy, my face hurt!
Got here to Cairns on Thursday night, we stayed in Tropic days for one night, it was late so we didn’t get up to much. Friday we came to Tropic Days sister hostel Traveller’s Oasis. So now guys its 5th Dec and it’s my last night in Cairns, I waved Heather off to the airport earlier on, as she heads to Sydney to start work tomorrow! Our time here in Cairns has been really enjoyable, a lovely end to a amazing trip of 2.490km of Australian Eastern Coast! We snorkelled in the Great Barrier Reef here in Cairns, which was by far one of the best experiences of Cairns and the whole trip. Cairns is quite small like most places we have been! We sunbathed by the lagoon, and ate at The Green Ant a very good Mexican around the corner from our hostel, and even visited Gilligans which seems like some sort of institution! We enjoyed just relaxing, especially since it is so HOT here, it’s 32 most days and I literally need to sit in the pool at all times! We even went out for cocktails at Salt house on the marina and had steak for lunch on the marina one day. All in all Cairns rounded off a amazing trip, I am glad I came with such a close friend as its made everything ten times better, we laughed a lot, sometimes for only reasons we knew and people looked upon us weirdly, we also made so many friends on the way! It has just gone so quickly! It makes me want to start planning my next adventure, but for now ill start looking for jobs and relax in Perth with my fabulous bf. Hope u all enjoyed my blog and it made u green with envy mwah ha, only joking, maybe your think, that looks like a nice place to go.

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