Recently it has become very obvious to me that men and women are from an entirely different planet, different creatures altogether. As the saying goes, women are from Venus and men are from Mars.
I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and I think only just this year I have come to terms with the fact, maybe romance is more fact than fiction! queue grieving of lost romantic notion and ideals, time to bury the Dirty Dancing dvds so they can’t make you go all misty eyed, in vain hope that your boyfriend will shimmy over and demand that no one puts you in the corner!
My problem with men, and I am sure it is just not my man, hopefully! It is the inability to comprehend being romantic, my bf is not quite the hairy caveman type banging his club and itching his crotch, I just think he has some vital piece of romantic DNA missing.
So what is romance? I hear the cry of men. My boyfriend searches his foggy brain for the answer every time I pout and tell him he has not been particularly loving today, or when I watch a particularly slushy, romantic film (starring Jennifer Aniston or Katherine Heigl, Hollywood has a lot to answer for) and demand to be declared love to on the Empire state building or for once for him to choose me over Manchester United!
So lets start with, ‘What is Romance?’
I am sure everyone is different on this question, depending on your level of tolerability for pda’s and someone being in your personal bubble, or the layer of ice around your heart! For me romance isn’t diamond rings and expensive dinners, it is more weekends away full of scenic walks, picnics and hugging on a rug next to an open fire! oops! too many romantic films there ha! but honestly for me romance is making the time for one another, especially in long-term relationships, making time for the other person, without it revolving around what is convenient for you. Maybe a little surprise now and then like a camping trip away, just you two, or a picnic in the park on a sunny day.
For me the most romantic thing is when my boyfriend actually remembers (real back in shock) something I said weeks ago and surprises me with that said thing or date, maybe he remembers my favourite desert and buys it for me when I am having a down day, it is just nice to know they listened and you’re not just white noise between Top Gear and Match of the Day.
Mostly I like it when he holds my hand on the sofa or strokes my hair, I like it when he randomly texts me to tell me he loves me or hugs me for no reason but just because he wants to, I like it when he kisses me on the nose and puts his arm around my shoulder when we are walking. I love kissing, maybe a little massage but rarely are we women indulged unless there is a ulterior motive for the man. As as the longer your relationship goes on the less romantic people become, so this is a message to all men and boyfriends out there, remember we women are romantic creatures like sunflowers in the sun, remember to pay us some attention now and then, some selfless romantic gesture wouldn’t go amiss, and we’ll repay you, no questions asked.
Maybe one day men will realize romance is not soppy poems and cheesy lines from films, it’s not standing in the rain declaring your undying or overly gigantic gestures with presents and gifts (although nice sometimes pls) it is just remembering the small things in life are the things that make us women happy, and when you remember our birthday! that is nice too!