It’s a Loving Feeling

edgar

Love is something the world seems to revolve around, but why? Why is it that we have this inner desire to be desired, loved and betrothed to someone. Love is a feeling, a feeling that consumes and swims through our veins intoxicating us into love-lorn puppies. Love has the power to cripple us and consume our thoughts, it’s like a drug that you never really asked for, something that comes in unexpectedly when maybe you never invited it.

What is love and why do we all get sucked in by it? Does love really even exist or is it just a word we made up to describe a feeling that we cannot explain and cannot see? You cannot measure someone’s love, you cannot even see someone’s love. How can you ever trust someone when they say they love you as really love is made up. Love is made up to explain a feeling, a feeling that no-one can see, or measure. People everyday entwine themselves in relationships for the sake of love but in reality are we meant to be a one man/woman creatures; maybe love is meant to run a course and then you move on, maybe love needs to not have so many restrictions on it.

I have said ‘I love you’ to three people in my life and I can truly say I have only loved 2 out of 3. There’s your first love, the love you give everything to and lose yourself in and come out wondering if you will ever feel that way again about anything, love as hard, as much and as freely. Your first love always hold’s that place in your heart, that place that never really tarnish’s with time, they kind of stay in a suspended bliss. Then there’s love after the first love that is more measured and you are more aware to not lose yourself so easy but is losing yourself just too easy to do in love.

Love has many levels, but how do you know the level of love you feel is enough, is the right amount that equates to finding the ever so coveted ‘One.’  People look ardently for ‘The one’ to whisk them off their feet and to live happily ever after, but as I get older I get further away from believing in ‘The one’ and happy ever after. Love is over rated, or maybe I love in the wrong places. All I can say I got from love is heartache that I’d rather not deal with, they say loving can be the best thing you have ever done, and yes it can be until love isn’t enough. Maybe I am bitter, maybe I am in need of a knight in shining armour, but nowadays the knights are less shiny and make you pay for the drinks. Men have become less romantic, bring me the man who still holds doors open for a woman, a guy who is on a night out not just to put a notch on the bed post. The day of the chivalrous man seem to be over, they are cruder and ruder than ever and the sweeping of the feet is merely but a dated dream. Has the ever-growing independence of woman brung the man to new low levels of thinking it’s okay to slap a girls arse as a gesture of hello on a night out, or shout do you want a f@&k across the room, like you’re going to jump up and down clapping your hands saying yes please (if you do, self-respect needs to be gathered off the floor). Having lived like we all do as we breathe the air we breathe my faith in men lowers daily to new lows because in reality many find it hard to keep it in their trousers. Women can be just as bad I hear men wail in the far corners and I do not doubt this, but the men I can count my fingers that have done the dirty far exceed the one’s of women I can count on my hand.

Love is a multi-faceted concept that has been created by man/woman to name a feeling so many people feel, but to me love is just something that has to prove its self to me before I believe in it again and that may take a while, a good jolly while.

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For Better For Worse And Happy Ever After …..

For better for worse is a pledge made during a matrimonial ceremony, where you pledge your undying love no matter what may happen, good, bad and darn right ugly. But how seriously are these vows taken in this day and age with the choice and options we have. Why do we place so much importance on marriage and the vows said? Do we really mean them? Do we really take marriage seriously?

”Happy ever after doesn’t really exist”

Girls dream of getting married from a tender age, believing that they will be taken away into the sunset by their prince charming. The movies and the books kids are weaned on, brought up reading and watching portray this fantastical kind of love that will sweep them off their feet into a blissful marriage and a happy ever after. But in reality your happy after is never that easy, happy ever after doesn’t really exist. Happy endings exist to an extent, everyone chooses their life partner who is their prince but what happens when that prince falls from his pedestal, when his actions hurt you. Many people disband the love train, but in the better for worse there is no get out clause, there’s no ps, no extra page stipulating clauses that mean you can get a get out of jail free card.

Marriage is often taken on lightly, people sprint before they learn to walk, they get so carried away with this dream movie romance that they forget that we are all just human and we will all make mistakes and happy ever after needs more work than just breezing along thinking everything will work itself out. Everyday life affects relationships and so does work, money and friends. People need to realize that marriage is something you work at even when you hate the person you love, you made an agreement, a binding agreement to love each other no matter what. I think if you don’t try to make a marriage work after vows have been uttered, if you disband at the first sign of trouble in reality you never loved that person at all. Love is something that is unbreakable and something that you give freely, and when you agree to marry someone you agree to make it work no matter what. Call me old-fashioned but I think people should be realistic before they head down the aisle. I have friends marriages who have lasted 6 months, how can people make a vow then to break it so easily! obviously sometimes you have no choice as the other person makes the choice to disembark instead, but at this point you should turn your back for no-one deserves you if they are willing to walk away so soon.

Divorce is branded about so much these days, it devalues marriage as people in the back of their mind know if their partner cheats or fucks up they can get out. But if your partner cheated should you leave, marriage would bind you to stay as it says in the vows: for better for worse, but life is not black and white and there are areas of grey but I think if your married cheating is something that can be worked through. I am not giving the green light for cheaters as I don’t think cheating on your  partner numerous times is okay and I do think divorce is okay in circumstances, but if it happens is it really that bad to give your marriage another chance, really take to heart your vows and really show people marriage vows mean something. In the end the vows that are uttered in the ceremony of marriage have been devalued in time due to the fact people just say them now without really thinking about what they mean, what they entail. For better for worse, in sickness and in health, it means no matter how tough the going gets that together your work through it, that your remember together those fleeting moments of pure love and bliss when you pledged to love each other no matter what. To me for better for worse is the biggest part of marriage that people now fail to really comprehend.

I love my bf and one-day I will marry him for better for worse and I will mean it with every ounce of my being. Marriage to me is the biggest commitment you can make to someone and I don’t intent to do it more than once…….love doesn’t work like that if you really love someone.