Monogamy is something as a society we expect from our partner in life but why? It’s a big old word that looms over every relationship saying your mine and mine only, (insert evil laugh) mwhahahahaha. Is Monogamy just ruining your relationship and instead should we all just be allowed to shamelessly cavort around, lend our body to whom we wish to gain self-gratification. Is being faithful really such a vital part of having a successful relationship or is it an idea that have been drilled into us by society and in reality monogamy is unnatural? Is being with one partner more unnatural than anything and in reality we all have it the wrong way round. Is monogamy plagued by adultery?
Now as you read my scandalous first paragraph with your eyes you may be there thinking I am some lustful sinner that throws myself about shamelessly but hold those thoughts and I can tell you that I am pretty much the other end of the scale. I would never cheat on someone and never have, not that I am sitting here casting aspersions on anyone’s character if they have because life isn’t black and white, it’s grey and many a time I have been lost within the grey wondering how the hell I became so jaded.
In life people are constantly caught out cheating, just look at the people in the media like Ashley Cole, Kristen Stuart and many others seem to think the grass is greener and hop over for a rendezvous on the other side only to get caught out and get burnt. Would it just be easier in life if people had open relationships, does being in a one man/ one women relationship stifle people and make them in the end cheat as do relationships eventually always become stale?
In the animal kingdom animals have mates for different uses, one for companionship, one for naughtiness and so on, is this an idea that we should take forward instead of ball and chaining ourselves to one person for the rest of our lives? The rest of our lives is a long time after all. Is it really possible to ask someone to stay faithful to you for the whole of their lives?
In life it seems men are more adulterous than women, now I am not saying us women are all saints as I know this to be far from the truth. Women can be just as bad as men on the cheating front but are just less likely to get caught. It’s seems in this day and age its harder and harder for people to sustain a lasting relationship where people are faithful to each other, we have to ask ourselves, why is this? Is it because in the 21st century we have so many options and we are more selfish and concerned about number 1 and our own satisfactions than ever before? Are we more selfish as we believe society owes us everything and if we don’t get all of our desires we feel short-handed? Is it because we have more freedom than ever and the opportunity to do as we please? Divorce use to be frowned upon and to get divorced was seen as shameful, nowadays it an everyday thing that people barely bat an eyelid at which gives us no feeling of shame to confront so opting out is easier than ever before, there’s no need to make something work when you can find a newer model without the chinks in the armour like the old model. But in reality any relationship will get chinks on the way, no relationship will ever stay shiny and new no matter how hard you try, if you dump your new model at the first sign of trouble you will only go on to the next model and eventually end up in the same position again. For people who want the everlasting euphoric feeling of a new shiny relationship maybe having an open relationship is the way to go, then least your never setting someone up for disappointment.
In life jealously is a human condition that will forever get in the way of anyone ever really having an open relationship. Passion goes hand in hand with jealousy and by dabbling in an open relationship are you dancing with the devil. In the end an open relationship I think causes more trouble and strife than you think it would. Open relationships are like sex buddies, a good idea in hindsight but in reality someone always falls harder for the other, Is that fair? To go knowingly go into something that you know will only end up in tatters. Anyone who thinks they can have a sex buddy is mildly deluded in my opinion. Women are clingy (most of them anyhow) and men can be possessive (most of them anyhow). As humans we have too many emotions in our little finger to control to really live them dream of having an open relationship. Crimes of passion are forever documented, we as humans are a mass of feelings and emotions that can implode and explode and make us do things we never thought we would do, as I said before are we playing devils advocate when we try to go out side of monogamy.
In my world where I dance from day-to-day to my own kind of beat I love being within a relationship where touch wood neither me or my partner have done the dirty on one another. I am a one women man. I am not saying we’ve had it plain sailing and that everyday is sunshine and butterflies but without him where would I be I ask myself? Back into the pitiless game of dating where no man could match the way he makes me feel. I have in time come to know many people and see them make their way through their relationships making mistake after mistake, having affair after affair, cheating on their partners again and again and I have lost faith in people and the faithful ideal. But I do have a small shred of hope that lies within what I have, I believe there are men out there who will stay faithful you just have to find the guy that takes you for you, loves you for you, and is honest with you whether you like it or not. To let go of what I have I know would be foolish and in the end I don’t trust anyone like I trust my partner. I am slightly jaded as strange as it may sound for someone in a successful relationship. But I believe more and more some people just aren’t cut out for the one women/one man relationship so why bother trying. Why don’t people who cannot be faithful be honest and say “Look I am gonna mess about, I want to swing from branch to branch, hop from bed to bed” instead of lying to the person they are with. By being deceitful your are not only hurting yourself you are bringing someone else down, and that’s one of the cruelest things to do.
They say cheating has nothing to do with love and it’s a human desire, so should we really suppress a desire that is so primitive? In the end we are all animals. A man spreading his seed maybe is more natural than not. In this day and age we have so many options and so much freedom we can pretty much live how we want, unless of course your living in the middle east. But with all the options we have living in the western world we can live as we please so why enter a relationship knowing you are going to cheat when you can easily live a life of the playboy dream and no one would really care, you would most likely get a pat on the back and a wishful sigh of jealousy from your friends. Though to live a type of life where you live by your own rules you do run the risk of ending up alone, but should people be scared of ending up alone? Shouldn’t we be comfortable being alone? No one should be scared of being in their own company, of being alone, if you are you must ask yourself why? To me to be alone and comfortable means your more than ready to give something to a relationship, to not be okay in my eyes means your are not? Insecurity they say is a big deal breaker in why some people cheat, not because there’s no love but because your own insecurities ebb away at the relationship your sustaining. So to me being single isn’t something to scorn, it’s something to rejoice as when your single you can get to know yourself fully to decided what kind of relationship will suit you.
I know myself, I am an all or nothing type of girl. There’s no way of denying it, I jump in almost blind, I walk before I can see and I hope for the best. I will fight to make something work rather than throw in the towel. I will love beyond reason. I am stubborn and I am with everything like a dog with a bone, I won’t let it go, weathers that’s a good or bad thing.
In life as I have said in previous post’s is yours to do as you wish with. But why hurt people on the way when that can be avoided. If you feel the urge to cheat, go on a break, don’t run full steam ahead into a situation you will only come out bruised. Why hurt others when you can avoid it, as the bible says and I am not really a religious person but it’s something I fully agree with:
‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’
In reality having an open relationship is a complex issue and maybe that’s why monogamy is so popular as it filters out many of the troubles that open relationships bring. But one’s thing for sure and that’s I am not sold on the multiple lovers idea. We as humans have too many emotions to control to really live within an open relationship, to have one in my eyes you have to be somewhat detached and cold inside to side step all those pesky feelings that will surface eventually.